Breakfast at the Crisis Buffet

Ever wonder when the world will stabilize again?

You know, where at least part of the world is safe and secure, with laws, liberty and a healthy economy…

I do, and I’ll tell you right now, I don’t see it happening any time soon.

I realize that the state of the world is always in constant flux,

But man, the pace of change and the rising challenges are something to behold!

Now don’t get me wrong; this is great if your job is to write about macroeconomic news and events that impact the market and the economy.

And that’s exactly what my job is; a good part of it, anyway.

I begin every day watching and reading about what’s happening in the world…

It’s my breakfast routine.

Every morning, I consume a new crisis… or new news about an ongoing crisis

It’s like dining from an ever changing menu…a veritable crisis buffet…

I’m truly spoiled for choice on what to write about…

The variety, the textures, the cultural culinary peculiarities are all so vibrant…

The tastes are fiery and explosive….like a Molotov cocktail on the tongue…

So, what shall we have today at the Crisis Buffet?

A euro crisis omelet with Greek infusion and mushrooming violence?

It’s all the rage in Athens at the moment.

A bit messy on the plate, true…

But hey, you can’t make a Greek omelet garnished with civil unrest and spicy IMF takeover sauce without breaking a few banks.

Or how about poached Italian democracy with a side of new Euro Fascism?

I know, euro fascism is an old dish—of mid-20^th century vintage—but it’s like baroque Italian opera, lots of wailing, but folks are still buying it.

Besides, who isn’t open to a new interpretation of an old song?

Then, of course, there’s the toasted euro, served with fresh-picked austerity berries—a bit sour on the palate, but it’s an acquired taste…one that more and more Eurozone countries will have to adopt.

And, of course, a side of French fried sovereign debt holdings always goes well which such fare.

Don’t worry, there’s plenty to go around if you just do what you’re told.

Try them, they’re delicious.

What’s that?

You’re getting full?

But you can’t be; at the Crisis Buffet you can eat like PIIGS for an awful long time…

The bill doesn’t come around for several years…

And you won’t even have to pay it…at least not in euros…

Your payment will be… working for the rest of your life, and not having to worry about  anything…because you won’t have anything…

In fact, the Greeks are so happy about the whole arrangement; they’re celebrating in the streets…every day….all day…and all night.

But please don’t quit filling your plate in the European part of the Crisis Buffet…

We haven’t even come to the domestic section yet.

Look there…

Huge piles of greenback soufflés to stuff into your mouth…

Don’t worry, they’re made of almost nothing; you can eat all you want and never be full…

It’s true; just ask any banker…the more you eat of them, the emptier you become.

They’re like potato chips…

“Betcha can’t eat just 1…trillion.

Actually, they’re a special recipe, a confection of thin air and empty promises, handcrafted with the greatest of care by the bakery…

Run by the always affable Ben Bernanke.

And boy, does he like to cook greenbacks!…maybe that’s why he makes so many of them.

In fact, greenbacks are becoming so popular at the Crisis Buffet that the whole world wants them—with possible exception of China, Russia, Iran, and Syria--even though they taste sweet but leave you with a bitter aftertaste in your mouth.

And what goes better with greenbacks than a hefty helping of deep fried, deficit spending pork?

Sure, it’ll kill you—eventually—but hey, you gotta die of something, right?

Besides, it goes very well with entitlement gravy poured thickly over it, topped with slabs of government cheese…

Finish it off with an official unemployment rate boloney sandwich…if you can swallow it.

After that, you can suck up some Arab Spring rhubarb soup, garnished with defrocked potentates and jihadi hemlock…

Be careful, though, because that dish has a tendency to come back on you big time…

Especially if you marry it with Islamic vinegar and lots and lots of oil, which is what a lot of people do.

But then again, so many of us don’t have the will power to pass that dish by…

On our way to the Chinese section of the Crisis Buffet, where we can feast on manipulated renmimbi rice and steamed imported US pacific flounder…

Not a popular crisis dish yet, but it has promise.

Lastly, China’s domestic financial fraud fortune cookies will tell you whatever you want to hear…

As long as it’s approved by the Chinese Communist Party.

You want more?

Drop by tomorrow, see what’s on the menu then.

You see, the best part is, the Crisis Buffet menu changes all the time…

And for your convenience, the Crisis Buffet is open 24 hours a day.

Is it lunch yet?

And those are…The Gorrie Details.

Related posts:

1. Don’t Buffet the Economy
2. The “Greek Crisis” is a Global(ization) Crisis
3. Euro Crisis The Story of Our Time
4. Solving the Euro Crisis Will Kill the Dollar
5. Denial Rises As Euro Crisis Darkens

Other posts by James R. Gorrie